Today is the first day in about three months that I have an absolutely free schedule – no laundry to think of (although this really is a matter of choice – I WILL not even bother with laundry today!), no writing deadlines to pant after, no houseguest to accommodate, no band or music practice that any of my three boys have to be in, no sports activity on the calendar, no social engagement to prepare for, no contract worker in the house working on some renovation or other … just blessed, blessed freewheeling day!  It's about time!

I know … it sounds like a paltry excuse as to why I've missed out on my blogging for like about forever.  Many of you guys have asked me about it, and I am gratified to know that you do read my occasional ramblings!  But it's true.  I have had such a whirlwind summer, and I had actually begun to feel I was spinning on my head!  Today, peace and quiet is the order of the day, and I can sit back (with my cup of special cappuccino) and really see what my summer has been like.  I will take things a little at a time, so be warned!  I just might turn this blog into a series!

Part One.  My young men and this summer of change

This summer, Michael turned 14 and Josh turned 13.  My little boys have grown so much!  They both shot up past my height this summer, and they think it's just the coolest thing.  Two nights ago, Michael snuck up behind me while I was at the sink and actually lifted me off my feet, then gave what I called a caveman whoop and shouted, "Yeah!  Me big guy!"  Well, I made "Me Big Guy" finish up on those pots and pans … it was nice to know that I could still order him around. 

My point in telling you this is, this summer was the first summer that I came to know my two big boys as young men already.  They have changed.  They're not cute anymore – they're good-looking (moms are supposed to say that) young people with very, very strong ideas of who they are and what they're capable of.  It's been rough in many ways.  Michael and I had fights like crazy, and maybe I just wasn't wise in some ways or I couldn't let go of my "baby" – but however we went through the process, I am glad to know that my firstborn and I have come to understand each other beyond the usual "I'm your mother, you're my son" dogma.  He's grown.  He's really, really grown … and I am proud.    He started high school last week, and while his stomach was in knots at the beginning of the school year, I think he has adjusted well and is going to not just trudge through these high school years, but meet everything with a skip and a hop.  In many ways, Michael is so much older than his years – he is incredibly perceptive of people and events, so wise, and very strong in his beliefs and convictions.  What an amazing young man.

Josh's personality has always been a little "less complicated" than Michael's – only because Josh is like an open book.  Whatever his mood is, he lets you know it.  (Michael is more of an introvert.)  But what I saw grow in Josh by leaps and bounds especially this summer, is his natural leadership.  Pretty cool. He and Michael have really learned to dabble with their guitars and drums, and now Josh is helping lead a small worship team for their youth group.  He has also begun writing his own songs (although he has yet to play one for me).  And as far as Josh is concerned, his and Michael's one big success is making it to "//oneighty" band.  //oneighty is much like our youth outreach center … very dynamic and effective organization.

Before this summer wore on, Josh came face to face with a particular issue of weakness – and humbly, he put himself in a position of accountability because he didn't want sin to grip his life.  Who can't be drawn to a person like that? 

And of course, there's my Elijah.  He's 8, and I think I'm going to hold on to him a little bit longer as my baby boy.  Or at least I will try.  The thing is, I know this is a losing battle.  Elijah and I always had "cuddle time" before he'd go to sleep – that's when he'd be in my arms and we'd talk about his day and some other things that 8-year olds like thinking about.  Three nights ago, he said to me, "Mom, I think we can stop cuddle time now.  You can just sit here (beside his bed) and we can talk."  I replied, "Really?"  And he nodded and said, "Yeah.  I think I'm big enough now."  At that moment, I felt a little baby slip away from my arms.  And so I just said, "Well … okay.  Can I still hug you and kiss you goodnight, though?"  His reply was like a balm:  "I think even big boys like that."  Whew.  Even tough moms like that.

Elijah is the easiest child in the world, hands-down.  He demands nothing of anyone, and he is so incredibly good-natured and cheerful that one can't help but laugh with him all the time too.  He says the funniest things sometimes, like last Saturday when he said to his dad, "Carry me, Daddy.  My whole body is lazy … except my mouth." Arnold laughed and said, "I can see that!"  And up he went in his daddy's arms.  Still a baby.  For a little while longer, anyway.

This summer has been a season of change for my young Agapitos.  But I think I've done right by them so far.  At least for the most part.  I've made a lot of mistakes … but this parenting business is really a hard job that no one can perfect.  "There but by the grace of God, go I" is a motto I hold on to.  I can do nothing without my God who strengthens me.  I cannot be wise without Jesus to show me the way.  I cannot be gracious without the grace of my Lord extended to me as well.  I would so much appreciate your prayers for my troop of young men.  They are soldiers in training for the cause of Christ – and I, their sergeant, am learning every inch of the way as they are.

(Tomorrow … maybe:  Part Two – My Home, My Castle.  Renovations to the house and the lessons that came with them.)