Oh, you guys are so funny.  I disappear a little while from any kind of social scene, and here many of you are, asking if I’m alright.  Yes, friends, I’m doing fine, thank you very much.  Life keeps on getting more hectic, I guess.  My best friend told me the other day that I have been “weird” lately – it gets kind of scary when Michelle, the queen of weird in my book (fondly said), hoists upon me that description.  Something must be up.  J

I’ve been really busy.  And I feel that I need space now for ME.  In the movie War of the Worlds, the young girl played by Dakota Fanning would close her eyes, put her arms in a circle in front of her, and take deep breaths while everything around her was going crazy.  That circle was her “personal space”, her quiet spot where no one could harm or faze her.  I borrowed that idea for myself the other day, figuratively speaking, but I realized I had no arms to put in a circle in front of me because they were laden with stuff -- things to do, deadlines to meet, conferences to tackle, domestic issues to resolve, family and friendly visits to host, etc.  It was a whirlwind. So I had to let go of a whole bunch of things, and be in my quiet world even for just a little while.  That’s why I’m writing to friends; you are part of my quiet world.  Michelle will have to take back her description of “weird.”

“Quiet”, though, really runs contrary to my personal instinct. I’m one of those who torpedo through most of life, and am pretty predisposed to this “perpetual motion” concept.  That’s not so bad, really – except when I begin to think (and this is quite often, too) that the world as I know it would get sucked into a black hole if I’d quit working!  I know this arrogance doesn’t paint a pretty picture of myself, but I had often thought that if I don’t do what I do or need to do, everything would tumble faster than I can say “fuzzy-wuzzy slippers” (that’s my quiet world companion).

Well, tough!  I’m not that important.  Neither are you.  At least not in any way near of a savior status. Nobody is looking to you to save the world – and if anyone is, he’d just have to get over it.  J There is just our small, small slice of life, and even in that area, we simply do what we can, the best way we can, and call it a day.   “Rest” is a biblical mandate, and it does not mean just sleeping the hours away.  It means being refreshed and restored in every aspect – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual – because of intimate fellowship with the One who is  equipped to save the world and myself: God.

Going back to that picture of “personal space” a la Dakota Fanning.  That would be a picture of me, with arms stretched out in a circle before me.   But this has more substance, because right in the center of my arms is Jesus, and He likes being there.  Nobody can shake Him away.  The best part is that while I bring my arms around Him, He wraps His around me too, and no one – absolutely no one – can rattle me while He has me in that loving and protective embrace.  I am safe.  Everything around me can go crazy, but I am quiet in the arms of my Savior.  And I know that when it’s time, He will raise one arm against the storm, rebuke the wind, and say, “Peace!  Be still.”  (Mark 4:39)  And everything will be quiet, as again He leads me to a sizzling, bright new day.  With my fuzzy-wuzzy slippers.

When Jacob sent Joseph, I thought right off the bat that this was just a little foolhardy of Jacob because this dad knew that Joseph wasn't liked by his brothers (v.11).  But on the very same token, he knew that something was afoot with Joseph as well.  He could feel it in his heart :  Joseph possessed a quality, a special gifting about him.  Jacob couldn't understand it much, but he could always see it, maybe by the way Joseph carried himself, or spoke, or transacted with others, be they brothers or servants.  And it was this knowledge of Joseph's quality that became the basis for this "order to go to Shechem."  I sometimes wonder why Jacob didn't send a servant -- he could certainly afford that!  Maybe Jacob had in his heart that this would be a bonding time between Joseph and his brothers.  It seems reasonable to think that.  But the main point still is, Jacob entrusted to Joseph a sensitive task -- that of bringing something good to his hungry brothers.

 

Isn't Joseph a "type" of Jesus this way, a foreshadowing?  Think about it.  Jacob knew that the task would be dangerous for Joseph, but he sent Joseph anyway.  God did the same with us -- He sent His Son to bring life.  And He did ... bring us life, that is!

 

Personally, I want to be such a bearer of quality as Joseph.  I want people to see something in me, and entrust me with tasks that even though they know would test me, they'd still say, "She can handle that." 

Joseph was instructed to check on the welfare of the brothers who hated him.  It would be no picnic, but he obeyed.  That impressed me.  But what really hit me was what Joseph did when he got to Shechem -- this was what made hima person of Quality Righteousness.  When Joseph reached Shechem, the brothers weren't there. At this point he could have gone home and told his father in all honesty that he had tried but couldn't find his brothers.  But listen to this: Joseph obeyed or honored not only his father's WORDS, but also his father's INTENTIONS.  Isn't that just the coolest thing?  His father wanted him to check on his brothers' welfare, so Joseph, through the help of a stranger in v. 15-17 (I wonder if this was an angel!!), tracked them down in Dothan, which was like 15 miles away.

 

Joseph didn't stop just because his brothers were not in Shechem.  He went on ahead to where intel had told him his brothers would be.  He went the extra mile -- all because he knew his father had a mission for him, and he would follow that order to completion.  That's quality!

 

And this is how how I want to be -- in all departments of my life, I want to be the one to go the extra mile for what I know is my task.  If it's to be a blessing to a friend, then I will be the best blessing I can possibly be, each time I get a chance.  If it is to be a mom, as indeed it is, then I shall go the extra mile for that too.  So long as I bring a blessing to people, I will milk that blessing for what it's worth.  Because I know that in blessing others, I myself will be blessed.  Proverbs says, "Blessed is he who brings refreshment, for he himself will be refreshed."  Joseph probably carried the same principle -- and though his refreshment took years before it saw fulfillment, he kept faith.  His perspective was more elongated than his circumstances.

In 1992 in New York, there was a ticker tape parade for Nelson Mandela after he was released from prison in South Africa.  Mandela came to New York City to celebrate and to thank those who supported him during his long fight against apartheid. What was different about this parade was that, though it took place in the usual place in the heart of Wall Street, the people of the city who turned out to greet him were the poor, the homeless, those on the fringe. They were all there to thank Nelson Mandela for giving them hope.  And as this popular figure moved through the streets, the people began to sing a South African Hymn: a song of freedom and liberation.  And then they began to dance, a very stylized dance, raising their arms to say that they were with him.

This reminds me of the Triumphal Entry of Jesus into Jerusalem just a few days before He died, then rose again.  He came to Jerusalem a much-loved man, so did Nelson Mandela.  There was singing both in Jerusalem and the streets of New York.  The songs were about freedom and liberation, both in Jerusalem and New York.  Mandela was viewed as a savior by the poor people of New York; Jesus also viewed a savior by the poor oppressed Jews of that time, albeit a political savior, which we will discuss later.  The difference was that while Nelson Mandela had the parade because of a past victory that the crowd already knew about, Jesus had a journey to a far bigger future triumph, but one which nobody in crowd knew or even understood. 

As Jesus entered Jerusalem that day, people spread cloaks and palm branches on the road before him shouting "Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!" "Hosanna in the highest!" (Matthew 21:9).  John's gospel said that the people also added one line to this traditional "Hosanna":  " ... the King of Israel!" (John 12:13). 

You see, to the Jews gathering for the important Passover festival, Jesus was the king -- just not a spiritual king, but a political king ... someone to overthrow the oppressive Roman government, not to save their souls.  They shouted "HOSANNA" (hoshi-ya-na)  which literally means "Save us, now!".  Often, we think of Hosanna as an acclamation, and it is.  But in the context of the Jews of that day, this phrase taken from Psalm 118:25, was a cry for help.  Psalm 118 is part of the Hallel psalms, sung during the important Jewish festivals.  It is therefore familiar to all Jews, much like our Christmas carols would be familiar to those who celebrate Christmas.  This same word Hosanna is used in 2 Kings 6:26, where we read of a woman who cried out to the king of Israel during a terrible famine. Dying from hunger, she cried, “Help me, my lord the king!”  The Jews were looking to Jesus for help, for they long have been under Roman rule, and never liked it.

Not long after the crowds were shouting Hosanna, though, the atmosphere in Jerusalem changed. Other shouts began to be heard -- not shouts of adoration this time, but shouts of anger.  "Crucify him!" (Matthew 27:22).  What happened? Jesus disappointed them.  That is what happened. 

But did Jesus really disappoint them as much as they disappointed Him, and the One who sent Him?  Remember, as Jesus approached Jerusalem, His heart broke, He wept and said, “If you had known, even you, especially in this your day, the things that make for your peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes."  Jesus was actually addressing the Pharisees and the hard-hearted people -- individuals whom He loved and wept for! That  should encourage you:  Jesus weeps for you if you are lost or are missing the mark of God's plan! 

Is this you?  The reality is, there is a Pharisee in all of us.  We disappoint God and make Him weep sometimes (Ephesians 4:30).  Let's take a look at these people during Jesus' time, Pharisees and ordinary crowds alike, and see how we can relate.

1.  They misunderstood His mission.  Twice during Jesus' 3-year ministry on earth did the throng try to make Him king.  The first was when he fed the five thousand using only five loaves and two fish (John 6:15).  Jesus slipped away from them, just as He slipped away from these politically minded people when He came to Jersualem during the Passover (John 12:36).  The Jews did not understand that Jesus had come to "seek and save the lost" -- they only saw Him as good for the Jewish economy (He could make endless bread!) and Jewish politics. They saw Him as an escape.  Their thoughts were probably that once Jesus was King, they could just lie back, relax and live happily ever after.  King Jesus would do all the work.

Isn't this still true today? We think it's God's job to make us happy.  We don't understand that as Jesus had come to seek and save us , He also had come to refine us.  We just want Him as a king who would give us peace, and daily bread.  Jesus could certainly have called on God's angels to annihilate the Romans, the Jews' thorn on the side, but He didn't do that.  His purposes were much higher (John 12:27): He wanted them to see the face of God and in seeing, love Him, find joy and all in all.

Bill Hybels, pastor of Willow Creek Community Church in the Chicago area, said that Christians often like going from the triumph to triumph -- from the joy of Palm Sunday to the ecstacy of Easter, with no Good Fridays in between.  But that's not going to work.  Jesus' mission is to draw us to Him forever.  He refines, sustains, lifts up, empowers ... and best of all, He saves our hearts for eternity.

2.  They misread all the signs.  Jesus on a donkey was a direct fulfilment of the prophecy of Zechariah over 400 years earlier. Zechariah 9:9 "Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion! Shout, O daughter of Jerusalem!  Behold, your King is coming to you; He is just and having salvation, Lowly and riding on a donkey, A colt, the foal of a donkey."  The Pharisees knew the passage, and hence they were even more upset that Jesus had come.  If you had one prophecy after another being fulfilled right before your eyes, would you not be convinced that "there is more to this Man ," and would that not open your eyes to something that God wants you to realize?  Not the Pharisees.  Of all people, they were the ones who knew about prophecies, but they deliberately misread the hand of God.  The pharisees saw a threat to their power; God wanted them to see their gentle, loving God.

It wasn't just the Pharisees who easily missed the signs.  Jesus' disciples had been with Him all the time seeing miracle after miracle, yet they still did not completely understand who He was.  John 12:28-30 has a very short account of how far the disciples themselves missed the mark; here, Jesus said:  "Father, glorify Your name."  And a voice came from heaven, saying, “I have both glorified it and will glorify it again.”  People stood by and heard it too, but they said that it had thundered. Others said that an angel spoke.  Jesus answered and said, “This voice did not come because of Me, but for your sake.  Now is the judgment of this world."

The disciples heard the sound, and figured it to be THUNDER!  Others said that  "an angel spoke to Him."  They were off the mark.  We still are. Let's read all the signs right, and know indeed that Jesus is the Son of God, and He is our Lord.

Do you recognize Jesus for who He is?  The Bible is God's revelation to us, and if you want to see God, you have to read His word. God may also show Himself to us through different things: through people we meet everyday, circumstances that happen, or even just the stirring of your soul about something.  Many people see God through hindsight -- they look back at some things in their past, and suddenly it becomes clear how God HAD been there with them,  though it did not always feel that way.  I encourage you to look ... God is with you, "just and having salvation, lowly and riding on a donkey" -- and He wants you to put your faith in Him.  The Pharisees did not do that, even believers fell short of that, and they missed out on the best opportunity ever to be with the Messiah as He fulfilled His mission.

3. They misdirected their energies.  Just prior to Jesus' triumphal entry, Jesus brought Lazarus back to life.  This made Jesus very popular, also because He made other miraculous deeds everywhere He went.  Instead on believing, though, the Pharisees spent all their time hating and plotting against Him.  What a waste of energy!  They also wanted to kill Lazarus, because he was living proof of God's power, and the miracle involving him was causing many to turn to Jesus (John 20:10).  

Many of us are like the Pharisees this way.  When we see the hand of God in a mighty blessing on others, we spend a lot of time being envious.  Then we try to shift the favor on us, so that we would not miss what we think are OUR advantages.  The Pharisees did not want to lose their societal advantage, so they plotted to kill.  The followers didn't want to lose their advantage of having a supernatural champion in their corner, so they worked hard to make Jesus King.  Neither was what Jesus wanted.

Do you know what pleased Jesus?  It was this act: "Mary took a pound of very costly oil of spikenard, anointed the feet of Jesus, and wiped His feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the oil."  WORSHIP -- that's all that Jesus required.  Mary, the sister of Lazarus, did this wonderful act of worship very shortly before the triumphal entry.  Again, we see Judas who was later to betray Jesus, being filled with envy.  He asked, "Why was this fragrant oil not sold for three hundred denarii and given to the poor?” This he said, not that he cared for the poor, but because he was a thief, and had the money box; and he used to take what was put in it. But Jesus said, “Let her alone; she has kept this for the day of My burial.  For the poor you have with you always, but Me you do not have always.”

Jesus does not want us going around trying to make things perfect according to whatever standard we have.  All He desires is our time, love, devotion, and worship.  And when we do that, we will be like Mary's perfume:  "We will fill the house with fragrance."  Don't misdirect your energies; just stay close to Jesus' feet.

4.  They misjudged His scope.  There is an important passage in John 12 that foreshadowed how great Jesus' reach would be, but this is often overlooked.  It is the arrival of some Greeks who come to Philip with the request, "Sir, we wish to see Jesus" (v. 21). Now in spite of the universal and worldwide implications of Zechariah's prophecy in Zechariah 9, and in spite of the Pharisees' "unintentional prophecy" in v. 19, "Look the world has gone after him," the predominant mindset of the crowds at the triumphal entry was very nationalistic and narrow—indeed, very Jewish. You see that from their cry, "Blessed is the King of Israel."

So this incident of the Greeks stands again in contrast, precisely because it is so international. As they were coming to Jerusalem to worship at the Feast of Passover, it is clear that these Greeks were "God-fearers." But the fact remains they were Greeks! They weren't Jews! And for John this coming of the Greeks and their heartfelt desire to see Jesus is very significant. It represents a small yet very real down-payment of the world coming to Jesus. It is the beginning of the fulfillment of Jesus' promise in v. 32: "And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men (Greeks and well as Jews, and all the world) to myself."  And we again note the prophecy in Zechariah 9:10, "His dominion shall be from sea to sea, and from the River to the ends of the earth."

Application: We do tend to limit in our minds what God can do.  Let's not do that anymore.  The Jews took the mistaken notion that Jesus was theirs alone.  The Pharisees had the wrong idea that Jesus challenged them alone.  In truth, Jesus had so much more in mind than the inhabitants of Jerusalem, although that ancient city will always be special to Him.  But God said in His word that it is His desire that ALL shall be saved ... that is, all the peoples of the world.

In our own lives, this concept follows, in that we tend to give to Jesus only a portion of our lives.  But His desire is bigger -- He wants us to turn ourselves over to Him so completely, that we find our fullness in Him.  We are famous for being Sunday Christians.  But God desires that we be Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, on to Saturday Christians too!  God's scope is far-reaching.  If we give to Him all that we have, He returns all blessings many times over.  Luke 6:38 says, "Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.”  We should all learn the lesson that we cannot outgive God.

5. They misaligned their priorities.  John 20:42-43 has an intriguing phrase:  "Nevertheless even among the rulers many believed in Him, but because of the Pharisees they did not confess Him, lest they should be put out of the synagogue; for they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God." 

Nothing more need to be said about that -- it is pretty much self-explanatory.  But I think we all see ourselves a lot in that verse -- we love the praise of men more than the praise of God.  When things are good and energetic, like the time of the Triumphal entry, we join the crowd and sing "Hosanna to the King!"  But when things turn against what we find comfortable, we cower in fear.  Where were the people who professed loyalty to Jesus, at the time the scourging took place, four days after the triumphal entry?  They ran away.  They hid.  Not that we blame them -- it was a pretty scary moment. 

But in the final analysis, we need to choose: do we follow God, or do we follow men?  Do we go to live in His power, or do we whittle and die with no contribution to the kingdom?  Many of the rulers believed in Jesus ... but they were afraid to get out of their comfort zone.  Are we?  Are our priorities godly in His sight, that we will take our cross and follow Him?  Are we light to the world, or are we hiding under the pitcher?

It is time to choose.  The Pharisee in all of us must not win anymore.  The hour is at hand, says the Lord.

The movie “The Golden Compass” opens in theaters today, and much has been written about it as being anti-God.  Philip Pullman, the author of the book from which the movie was taken, is of course a devoted, outspoken atheist, and through his writings openly suggests the idea of “killing God in the minds of children.”  This book is part of a trilogy called His Dark Materials, where he promotes doing away with God for the betterment of man.

I’m really not that much interested in telling you about the film.  I’m sure many of you have received an email or two (or more!) about it, most probably calling on you to not watch the movie.  Sometimes, though, this press to boycott has opposite effect: it drums up so much controversy about the movie that theater buffs are intrigued, and they rack up the numbers in the box theater.  I hope for that not to happen.

Yes, I will refuse to watch the film … not so much for its content, but more for the purpose behind that content.  Philip Pullman has blatantly thrown down the gauntlet by saying he wants to “kill God in the minds of children.”  That statement of purpose is to me no less than a statement of war, and he is going after my children.  Why should I back down?  Why should I give him the satisfaction of even knowing that his filth has infiltrated my camp?

Really now …you can be lax and choose to take the story-teller’s words as simply harmless tales -- or you can see the pied piper as the harbinger of death that he is.  Author Sandra Meiser wrote about that in The Pied Piper of Atheism, where is outlined the mercenary deceit of atheists in mainstream media.  In “The Golden Compass”, for example, we see dishings of clergy who kidnap and torture children, gay angels and fickle witches who patrol the skies, a wise shaman, warrior polar bears, a brilliant ex-nun and countless opportunities for children to get in touch with their inner “daemons,” talking animal-spirits who represent their souls.  All these revolving around Lyra and Will who eat forbidden fruit (sound familiar?) and finally get the opportunity to destroy God, which is premised as something they should have done the first time around.

To me, the stakes are too high. The enemy has called for war, and while I will not back down, I can and will fight this battle on my own terms, not his. 

In another interview, Philip Pullman says, “My books are about killing God.”  I almost wanted to laugh and say, “Oh yeah?  Well, His book is about killing YOU.” But then I thought: while that may be true in consequence (God will annihilate evil and all those who choose its path), it is not true in intent for each person that God has created.  Therein lies the difference.  God’s Word is love and hope, Philip Pullman’s books, and those of his minions, are just full of hate and darkness.

No contest in that one about which one I choose.

Yeah, yeah, I know … last night’s event at church, our 2nd Annual Cookout and Variety Show, was NOT a contest.  But I can’t help but pick my favorites from the 15 showcased acts, not because they were the best performances, but because two of them were just exceedingly fresh-spirited (and hilarious), and two because of the emotional ties I have with the performers.  One other was quite a surprise to me – I guess it was that young lady’s song and the way she sang it that struck me as special.  Anyway, here’s my 5-to-1 countdown.

#5.  Jordanne Beaulieu

This is the surprising one to me, and showed me that you just can’t judge a song by its title.  Jordanne sang Nichole Nordeman’s “Why?”, a lyrical piece that questions why Jesus had to die.  I had a good chance to soak in the poetry of the lyrics because my job for the evening was to operate the projector in the tech booth to scroll down the words and run video.  I found the song very moving, and was still thinking about it long after the number was done.  Jordanne did an excellent job of interpreting the song.  This young lady can be shy, but this evening she was in an element all her own, as her voice floated melodiously and her eyes sang along with her heart.  Beautiful!  (To read the words of “Why?”, follow the link: www.angelfire.com/al3/jenkshome/lyrics.html#WHY.)

#4.  Men’s Ensemble

I love men’s voices together in song; they stir something powerful in me.  This evening was no different, as our Men’s Ensemble came up on stage for “Give Thanks to the Lord”, an upbeat praise song, half of which they sang a cappella (even lovelier!).  I was blessed!

Of course, I love that Arnold was there, adding his rich bass voice to the choir.  This is my husband’s strong passion – to see the men built up not just in music, but to being strong dynamic leaders of New Hope.  Arnold loves the Men’s Ensemble and works tirelessly for it.  And these men really sound good.  Sometimes (not last night), I feel they’re a little afraid to take risks, but they are certainly getting better and more confident.  Last night’s performance offered a glimpse of where they can bring their team, and have fun in the process.  They were outstanding!

#3. Sisters of Worth (a.k.a. SOW)

With a name like this, who can resist a chuckle?  SOW is a ragtag, fun group of our worship team women who wanted to participate in the show.  Their choice of music: “I Will Follow Him” from the movie Sister Act (hence the name) by Whoopi Goldberg.  They will probably kill me for putting this here – but the girls DID sing over that clip from the movie, putting in their own vocal calisthenics.  They were awesome … and of course, hilarious.  They donned bright blue choir gowns, appeared pious as they stepped on stage and started with a quiet little ditty from the movie.  Then they broke out in song and dance which sent everyone laughing and clapping.  It was excellent!  And my friend Deb Price?  Wow, forget prim-and-proper!  Deb may easily cast that as first impression, but catch her with SOW and you’ll see a flip side.  I just have to make special mention of that because, while I have many great friends in SOW, Deb really had me fixated on her for the duration of the act.  All of them kept me rolling in laughter, though.

#2.  Michael, Josh, John, Nick and Tyler

I knew it!  I have good reason to be proud.  My boys Michael and Joshua, with good friends John, Nick and Tyler, went up on platform for an original song they wrote not too long ago, entitled, “You Take It Anyway”.  They did great.  Michael had the electric guitar, Josh took bass, John rendered vocal, Nick handled acoustic guitar, and Tyler did the drums.  A lot of lessons were learned in the course of getting this group together … more on that maybe some other time. 

These young men made my heart skip a beat, and I felt all choked up.  Pam Garrett who goes to our church said something like that, too:  “They’ve grown so much right before our eyes, and their gifts along with them.”  Isn’t that amazing?  This group of young people truly represents the blossoming of a vision.  They were able to compose a true song of worship, arrange it themselves in an impressive manner – then they got up there with a confidence deeply rooted in God.  It was wonderful.  One other person said that she couldn’t believe at first that their song was an original.  So … hats off to you, young men!

They’ve come up with a name (which wasn’t included in the program, because this came in rather late): Six Out of Seven.  The principle is that, seven being God’s number of perfection, nobody can really get there.  We’re always short, no matter how we try.  One of the boys described it this way:  “God will share with us His glory if we come in faith, but never to let us grab His perfection from Him.”

#1.  THE MOPS MOB (my top choice!)

Can you believe this?  Three grown men, all superbly educated, dancing to a kiddie song (Ten Commandments Boogie) with all their might, doing some Johnny Be Good moves and lip-synching to the song with the most animated gestures I have seen for a long time!  Hilarious!  The tots up on stage with these grown men were the only ones who outshone them, as they danced in their adorably un-self-conscious way.  They were having so much fun!  How the mothers of preschoolers (which is what MOPS stands for) were able to talk these men into doing this number will forever be a mystery to me … but for all the laughter and energy they lent to the evening, they sure are my number one choice.  And you know what?  I don’t think I’m alone!  The MOPS Mob brought the house down.  And having the huge beach balls tossed around the audience for good measure was a touch of genius!

On a serious note, though … if MOPS wanted to show how dads’ involvement can make a huge impact, I think they’ve succeeded very well.  Fathers are so important – and the kids up on stage with their dads, laughing and having fun together, are probably experiencing just that.  Not only have they built a memory together … they’re on their way to developing a mindset that will serve them for the rest of their lives.

That’s my top 5.  Every part of the program was superb, though.  We have so much talent in that church, and I am so proud and happy for all those who participated.  The theme of the evening was CORNERSTONE.  Ephesians 2:19-22 says:  “… you are … members of God’s household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus Himself as the chief cornerstone.  In Him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord.  And in Him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by His Spirit.” (NIV, condensed)

 How awesome that we are in such a family.  Blessings to you all.

Browsing online for literary new releases, I was riveted by a title: "Things I Overheard While Talking to Myself" by actor Alan Alda (star of 1970s show MASH).  The concept was birthed after a near-death experience, and in it he quotes the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius, "All we have is now." Alan Alda poignantly recounts some of his best moments with favorite people, particularly his daughters and grandchildren.

I read excerpts of the book, and found worthy thoughts.  For instance, Alda writes of a time early on when he took his infant daughter Eve with him to the set of a play.   Soon, Eve was surrounded by actors cooing to the bewildered baby.  When she wailed, Alda ran and hugged her, and she was content again.  He remembers:  "The actors tried to entertain her, because entertaining is what we do.  But she hadn't needed entertainment, she'd needed safety.  Years later, I wondered if I had given in too many times to the same actor's impulse."  From that experience, he writes:  "I had always been moved by Alan Jay Lerner's lyric from Camelot's 'How to Handle a Woman.' The way to handle a woman, he said, was to love her, simply love her. Love her. Love her. It took me a while to figure out that that's probably the best way to handle a child, too."  Wow.  That was real and down-to-earth.

But on many levels, it is the title that has me completely engaged.  I wish I had thought of that!  The title has brought me out of myself, even just to review if what I think about in the course of a day would be edifying -- or just plain embarrassing.  I must say I flip-flop between those two categories, even on a good day.  Most times are ugly times when a loud speaker up in my head would be the embarrassment of a lifetime. 

That makes me think about why God said in Philippians 4:8, "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praise-worthy – think about these things."  What a reminder – and one that many might find impossible to follow!  But God DOES know our frame and our tendency to think negatively.  The spirit of Philippians 4:8 has a note of calm exhortation, not whiplash, military-style command.  God understands this to be a process, slow and often painstaking. 

It also carries an invitation to make a CHOICE.  The word "whatever" is used not with the generic scorn of a teenager but with the gentle implication of choices.  God has His hand on many beautiful things -– family, friends, creation, and ALL that He is. But we are myopic.  We focus on negative thoughts.  God's invitation is to flip around and see Him. The Greek text emphasizes that "whatever is true" is actually "whatever is TRUTHFUL", a core-deep word that points to the very heart of God.  God is TRUTHFUL.  He is TRUTH.  All that we have in Him IS truth.  Interestingly, when we choose to think on these, God Himself goes on military mode: He guards our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7).  "Guard" is a military term to signify a sentinel keeping active watch over camp. We become a well-garrisoned stronghold, with peace inside.

These aren't things I overhear when I eavesdrop on myself, I'm afraid.  Instead, I'd hear envy, anger, exasperation, worry, fear, indifference, pride, impatience and other not-so-praiseworthy-or-excellent stuff.  But I'm learning.  2 Corinthians 10:5 reminds me that I should "take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ."  It takes practice to have something become a lifestyle.  Obedience gets easier as I get to know my Christ and He unfolds Himself to me.

I take something else from Alan Alda's book, too: in a way, all I have is now.  This very moment –- the very instant when I realize that I am not on platform with Philippians 4:8 -- then I must turn my mind around.  I do not know what I'll think about tomorrow, or even the next hour.  I only know NOW as I lay myself captive to the obedience of my Lord.  I'll try to keep my ear close to the ground -– or close to my heart –- so that "things I overhear when I talk to myself" will not be so bad. 

I love that my home has repeatedly been called “gracious”.  Being with friends and family and having them feel that they too have a place where they can experience the peace and blessings we have, brings to me more than a sense of gratification – it fulfills my desire to allow God to shine where I am, through what He has given, and in what He has made me to be.  I feel happy about that.

This past summer, I had a record share of friends who came to stay with us for more than a couple of days.  August was a particularly social time, as three waves of guests had come almost one on top of the other.  And in a fascinating way (to me), these three waves of friends in fact represent various aspects of my life.

Part Three:  Friends on a journey with me

Marivic Agapito came to us on a week-long stay during the first part of August.  She is Arnold’s sister-in-law, married to older brother Eric (a veterinarian).  Marivic is herself a nurse, and she came here to the US to explore job possibilities and eventually move her whole family here.  As we spent days and evenings talking about our hopes and struggles, I began to see myself in Marivic – having the same dreams yet often bogged by the same apprehensions, almost tasting the fruit of all that we’ve worked so hard for but at the same time feeling it so far away still.  Contradictions are often juxtaposed with each other, and on that score we bonded even more.

Marivic, therefore, represents my present.  Our bid to become permanent residents of the US is a long drawn-out process that we haven’t extricated ourselves from yet.  I feel there’s a lot of unfairness attached to the whole rigmarole, but I won’t go into that just now.  I just know that major hopes we have are hoisted upon that goal, and forward-looking though we try to be, the quest is disheartening sometimes.  But only sometimes … because as far as this road is traveled, there are really incredible gifts along the way that keep us going from point A to point B, with as much aplomb that we can muster.  Point Z can’t really be that far off.

Right after Marivic’s visit, our friends Pastor Philip and Rica Tarroja came.  I was ecstatic!  This couple is special to us because it was Pastor Philip who wedded me and Arnold almost 17 years ago, and Rica stood with me on my wedding.  The running joke while they were here was that they were glad to see that I have not driven Arnold away – but Philip said in that dry humor of his, “You sure have driven him crazy, though.”  Let me say, therefore, that the Tarrojas represent my past.

They knew me in those days (college, 1983-1987) when I was heady with a sense of “invincibility”, and I was arrogant and headstrong.  I hope “obnoxious” wasn’t a term they’d have easily used, but in some instances I probably deserved that epithet, too.  And dear precious Arnold -- the Tarrojas knew Arnold back in those days when he was just … being Arnold.  My husband has never been anything but wonderful and steady and calm and dignified, with a kind of patience that oddly drove me to impatience sometimes.  And all these Philip and Rica took in, and had to laugh when they realized that things really have not changed, except that I’ve mellowed a little bit, and Arnold is still Arnold.  And I would like to think that they think that I’ve gained an ounce of wisdom here and there, too.  Maybe.

Overlapping the Tarrojas’ all-too-brief visit was the coming of “my” Dallas kids.  This is the set of young people, most of them graduates of Christ for the Nations Institute in Texas, who come to stay with me for at least part of each time they come here to our area.  Two of them, Jakob and Matthew, are boys of my best friend Michelle.  Flesh and blood they may not be to me, but they come as close as anyone can to being my own nephews.  Jake recently got married to Leah, and now they’re expecting a baby.  I try not to sound too pleased, but I’m glad Michelle will be a “grammie” first before me – and since Leah is part Filipina, it has become so much fun to torture Michelle with the thought that her grandchild will probably look like me.  (You should see her “God, what have I ever done to deserve this?!” look.  Teehee.)

I loved having the Dallas kids here.  And as I sat in the kitchen having a little cuppa with them, I began to see how they represent my future, or what it could be.  My own boys will be like Jake – they will get married and have children of their own, and I will be a grammie.  I will be so proud and happy to see my children love God the way Jake does, turning to Him for guidance and just experiencing His favor in every way.  Already my boys look up to Jake as they would to an older brother, and I'm glad to curry that attachment.  Jake is daily growing into the responsibilities of a man, and he’s doing it with grace and a style all His own, but with the blessing of God.

In a way, these young people close the circle for me.  There is not one point in a timeline that one part does not affect the other.  The past leaves it mark on the present; the present will touch the future.  Decisions made, promises broken, dreams made or lost – each moment counts as something unto eternity.  It’s a sobering thought, because it premises now to me that I am here where I am, with all blessings and trials I face, doing what I know to do, all for a reason.  We can counsel young people because we’ve been where they are; we’ve learned from times both certain and not.  We can hold hands with those waiting for an answer for something because we have similar queries ourselves.  And we can laugh or be whimsical with others because we have seen some aspect of life together – and life still turned out okay.  God’s grace will not leave anyone wanting – so long as we have the courage to step out and move forth with Him. 

And the best part of it is, He lets us do that with friends.   

This summer was a chock-full of home renovation projects -- an expensive and time-consuming engagement but all worth it, because this is where Arnold and I will grow old and probably play with grandchildren, if the Lord doesn’t bring us to His heavenly home (a far greater mansion, to be sure!) yet.  Read on to see how home renovations consumed my summer.  This has been a lesson in patience … and yes, contentment that has finally settled into a real kind of joy.

Part Two.  My castle is not perfect, but it’s mine

Our home renovation has actually run a course of two and a half years already.  First, we worked on expanding from a tiny 3-bedroom house with the ugliest kitchen you ever saw and the most rundown bathroom there ever was, into a spacious 7-bedroom, 3-bath home with a lovely kitchen.  That was about two years ago, and once we’ve beautified the inside, work on the house began to move outside.  This summer was especially reserved for improving the curb appeal of the house, non-existent to begin with. That meant doing major landscaping, concretizing the long driveway, and dressing up the deck into an outdoor room.  That last one is a work in progress.

LANDSCAPING.  This most trying project of all proves something about me: my thumb is far from green.  It’s rather an orange-purple shade.  Although we had someone do the landscaping for us, during maintenance I managed to kill a young tree (an evergreen, no less!) and wreak havoc on a bed of lilies.  The new lawn didn’t quite take, either: right now, it’s patchy and far from manicured. Hardy weeds are having a party. While I can always blame the very dry spell we’ve had, it may be that I’m just too much of a scrooge to let the water run for hours on end.  So in the end, blame falls on me: I went against experienced advice.  Autumn was the best time to plant, but impatience got the better of me.  I insisted on summer gardening, but wasn’t willing to do the extra investment. I hope I can make up for it this fall.

POURING CONCRETE.  This was more expensive than I thought it would be … but the end-product is great.  Our driveway is long and wide (1498 sq.ft.), and had gravel that tortured the soles of those who walked upon it.  Now it’s elegantly paved, and draws attention away from the horrendous lawn.  Distraction DOES work! People comment on our driveway, but not on the lawn.  Or maybe they’re just too polite to say something about the evil-looking lawn.  That wouldn’t surprise me either.    

DECK.  This is fun to do, and as I said, it’s a work in progress.  Our 20 x 20 deck deserved attention, or it would be just wasted space.  I’ll let you know how that’s going, if there’s anything to tell at all.  We’re waiting for fall sales before we shop for patio stuff.  See … I’ve already wised up: wait for the right season, and you have better chance for success.

All these were projects this summer, plus a few indoor fine-tuning.  This is our home -- we’ve put in our blood, sweat and tears (and money) on it. But more than that, we’re building memories … and taking stock of life lessons.  Have a plan.  Don’t freak out about timetables. Compromise to ensure peace.  Let everyone have input, they’ll love the outcome even more.  Water your lawn.  Make plans to properly vent a teenage boy’s bedroom. Have fun.  And don’t you believe for a second that your husband doesn’t have creative instincts for a really dramatic kitchen. 

This summer’s big lesson:  Don’t care so much about what people say.  I say that because our house is right along Main Street, and people see all the work that happens on our property. It’s a small community; people would jokingly come up and say, “Ah, doctor doesn’t know what to do with his money, eh?”  Worse would be, “Oh, is this what we pay (Arnold as their doctor) you for?”  That comment came when we had the grand piano brought in.  People saw and whispers came.  Comments like that can hurt sometimes, but in fairness, they could be just be for fun and not mean anything beyond tactlessness.  I’ve learned not to sweat the small stuff.  But the flipside of this lesson is that people really are watching us, and are curious about us … and always, the big picture is that we have a testimony to uphold.  We had better not mess that one up.

Another thing that struck me was statements from people who said that homeowners normally work on the outside first, then move on to improving the inside, so that the market appeal of the home would immediately be apparent. I hold no statistics on that one, and really do not find any bearing in it for me.  Not only were we NOT looking to sell the house, but we wanted the inside nice and comfy before tackling the outside, because inside is where we would be all the time anyway. (Besides, who cares if the lawn is ugly in winter?)  Then it occurred to me: that is how many people live their lives – beautiful on the outside, in shambles inside. I do not say that in a judgmental way, but that is reality.  Human nature puts prime value on market appeal.

I do not want to theologize on this too much.  But just think: God’s work in us is truly from the inside out.  He makes His home in us, and He wants the inside beautiful according to how He sees it.  This is until such time as, through His tireless work, outside reflects the beautiful changes inside.  The working of the Holy Spirit is from glory to glory, after all.

So … I won’t worry about my lawn.  It is ugly right now, but I know we will have time to work and devote much love and caring on it as well.  (I’ll not scrimp on water this time.)  Inside, we have a home that spells comfort to all who live there, and a welcome to those who visit.  We’re not done with the house – reflective, really, of how God has not finished His work in our lives. 

(Part Three ... soon, but no promises:  Friends.)

Today is the first day in about three months that I have an absolutely free schedule – no laundry to think of (although this really is a matter of choice – I WILL not even bother with laundry today!), no writing deadlines to pant after, no houseguest to accommodate, no band or music practice that any of my three boys have to be in, no sports activity on the calendar, no social engagement to prepare for, no contract worker in the house working on some renovation or other … just blessed, blessed freewheeling day!  It's about time!

I know … it sounds like a paltry excuse as to why I've missed out on my blogging for like about forever.  Many of you guys have asked me about it, and I am gratified to know that you do read my occasional ramblings!  But it's true.  I have had such a whirlwind summer, and I had actually begun to feel I was spinning on my head!  Today, peace and quiet is the order of the day, and I can sit back (with my cup of special cappuccino) and really see what my summer has been like.  I will take things a little at a time, so be warned!  I just might turn this blog into a series!

Part One.  My young men and this summer of change

This summer, Michael turned 14 and Josh turned 13.  My little boys have grown so much!  They both shot up past my height this summer, and they think it's just the coolest thing.  Two nights ago, Michael snuck up behind me while I was at the sink and actually lifted me off my feet, then gave what I called a caveman whoop and shouted, "Yeah!  Me big guy!"  Well, I made "Me Big Guy" finish up on those pots and pans … it was nice to know that I could still order him around. 

My point in telling you this is, this summer was the first summer that I came to know my two big boys as young men already.  They have changed.  They're not cute anymore – they're good-looking (moms are supposed to say that) young people with very, very strong ideas of who they are and what they're capable of.  It's been rough in many ways.  Michael and I had fights like crazy, and maybe I just wasn't wise in some ways or I couldn't let go of my "baby" – but however we went through the process, I am glad to know that my firstborn and I have come to understand each other beyond the usual "I'm your mother, you're my son" dogma.  He's grown.  He's really, really grown … and I am proud.    He started high school last week, and while his stomach was in knots at the beginning of the school year, I think he has adjusted well and is going to not just trudge through these high school years, but meet everything with a skip and a hop.  In many ways, Michael is so much older than his years – he is incredibly perceptive of people and events, so wise, and very strong in his beliefs and convictions.  What an amazing young man.

Josh's personality has always been a little "less complicated" than Michael's – only because Josh is like an open book.  Whatever his mood is, he lets you know it.  (Michael is more of an introvert.)  But what I saw grow in Josh by leaps and bounds especially this summer, is his natural leadership.  Pretty cool. He and Michael have really learned to dabble with their guitars and drums, and now Josh is helping lead a small worship team for their youth group.  He has also begun writing his own songs (although he has yet to play one for me).  And as far as Josh is concerned, his and Michael's one big success is making it to "//oneighty" band.  //oneighty is much like our youth outreach center … very dynamic and effective organization.

Before this summer wore on, Josh came face to face with a particular issue of weakness – and humbly, he put himself in a position of accountability because he didn't want sin to grip his life.  Who can't be drawn to a person like that? 

And of course, there's my Elijah.  He's 8, and I think I'm going to hold on to him a little bit longer as my baby boy.  Or at least I will try.  The thing is, I know this is a losing battle.  Elijah and I always had "cuddle time" before he'd go to sleep – that's when he'd be in my arms and we'd talk about his day and some other things that 8-year olds like thinking about.  Three nights ago, he said to me, "Mom, I think we can stop cuddle time now.  You can just sit here (beside his bed) and we can talk."  I replied, "Really?"  And he nodded and said, "Yeah.  I think I'm big enough now."  At that moment, I felt a little baby slip away from my arms.  And so I just said, "Well … okay.  Can I still hug you and kiss you goodnight, though?"  His reply was like a balm:  "I think even big boys like that."  Whew.  Even tough moms like that.

Elijah is the easiest child in the world, hands-down.  He demands nothing of anyone, and he is so incredibly good-natured and cheerful that one can't help but laugh with him all the time too.  He says the funniest things sometimes, like last Saturday when he said to his dad, "Carry me, Daddy.  My whole body is lazy … except my mouth." Arnold laughed and said, "I can see that!"  And up he went in his daddy's arms.  Still a baby.  For a little while longer, anyway.

This summer has been a season of change for my young Agapitos.  But I think I've done right by them so far.  At least for the most part.  I've made a lot of mistakes … but this parenting business is really a hard job that no one can perfect.  "There but by the grace of God, go I" is a motto I hold on to.  I can do nothing without my God who strengthens me.  I cannot be wise without Jesus to show me the way.  I cannot be gracious without the grace of my Lord extended to me as well.  I would so much appreciate your prayers for my troop of young men.  They are soldiers in training for the cause of Christ – and I, their sergeant, am learning every inch of the way as they are.

(Tomorrow … maybe:  Part Two – My Home, My Castle.  Renovations to the house and the lessons that came with them.) 

Just something that's been made real to me these last few days – and must be written down while it's still striking me in the face.  There's  no new theology I'm sharing here, but you know, sometimes things just happen to you that make something so very familiar have a fresh new meaning in a fresh new way …

I was just thinking over the weekend that I have postured so much in my life that I have begun to believe in my own perkiness and steadfastness as my strength.  But something broke me down last Sunday – completely and utterly lost as I cried in the presence of God … and for a while felt cleansed and refreshed.  But then a few hours later as I sat at my desk, the first wave of concern set in, "What would others think?"

Isn't it funny how we despise weakness? We try our very best to appear stronger, wiser, independent, lacking in nothing.  For many of us (I foremost), admitting weakness is actually painful.  But when we really think about it, all this denying, all the fronting, all this faking strength … it is a sin.  It is directly opposed to Jesus who modeled total dependence on the Father, as well as His willingness to obey.  This contrast of human tendency vs. Jesus' example is stressed in Gethsemane when soldiers came to arrest Jesus (John 18:10).  Simon Peter immediately took out his sword and cut off one ear of a servant.  Courage? No, not really.  It was bravado designed to impress, as impetuous Peter was prone to do in those days.  He was nervous and fearful, and his response was cloaked in a pro-activeness that just wasn't God's way.  Jesus commanded, "Put your sword away!  Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given Me?"  And He gently healed the servant's ear.   It was again an example of perfection: strength in submission.

Few of us know to submit with grace.  Our instinct to engage in fight or flight is strong.  We are like Peter who followed the arrested Jesus on the fringes, then when confronted about his knowledge of Jesus, said vehemently:  "I tell you, I don't know the man!"  I think one reason why Peter followed from a distance was not only did he want to know what was going on with Jesus, but that he was also probably looking for a chance for a "rescue mission".  That's the kind of man Peter was, before he finally understood what God was trying to accomplish. 

You see, like Peter, part of the difficulty in letting ourselves be transparent is being able to see God's plan unfold as perfectly as He has designed it … especially when many times His plan is in contrast to what we want.  We give in to fear or instinctive self-preservation, either by hiding or withdrawing, or pulling off some crafty escape plan.  And then we think we're so smart, as Peter did.  But then came quickly a shining moment in Peter's life:  when he realized that his denial of his knowledge of Jesus was the first step in a denial of the lordship of Christ in his own life, he was devastated, and wept bitterly.

What about us?  Can we say with Jesus that we shall drink the cup the Father has given us?  Or are we to continue in the bravado of Peter?  I have come to realize that I am so much like Peter, living in the spirit of a self-wielding swordsman and then coupling it with an attitude of misplaced strength. This really denies a God who is arranging things for me in a very detailed way.  It denies a Lord who has laid down plans for me, and wants me to rely on only Him.

One more thought about Gethsemane.  When Peter cut off the servant's ear, Jesus did not say, "Oh, Peter, what a mess!  Clean it up!"  Jesus reached out and healed – His last miracle before crucifixion.  Was that for Peter as well as for the servant?  I think so.  Jesus was reminding Peter that He was in control, God's plan must be seen through (Luke 13:32-33), and Peter's heart must yield.  Jesus understood all that Peter was going through – those crazy emotions, that fear … Jesus understood, as He Himself had freshly gone through His "blood, sweat and tears" prayer time with the Heavenly Father.  When Jesus caught Peter's eye after Peter had denied Him three times, Jesus was not recriminating of His disciple.  He only loved.  And from there came the quiet promise that Jesus alone would make him – and others -- whole again.

Peter finally got the message … and so should I.